Is It Possible to Worry Less?
Is it possible to maintain a worry-free life in the 21st century or is it just a dream that lingers around for hope?
According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, anxiety is the most common mental health illness. Especially with the COVID-19 pandemic, levels of anxiety within the society and irrational worrying skyrocketed.
Don’t you just sometimes wish to have less worry and enjoy moments without overthinking? Well, there may be possible ways to worry less and enjoy every day life more!
Eckhart Tolle has a quote that I really like. He says “Life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be”. Most often we end up worrying about things that don’t even happen in the first place. What if we could go into any moment without any expectations, thoughts, or speculations. Of course, this is easier said than done but there are some small strategies that we can incorporate in our daily lives that can help with overthinking.
Ask yourself “Do I have control over this?”
How many times have you found yourself dwelling and obsessing on “what ifs”? Probably countless. The truth is, on the majority of the things we overthink, we have little to no control.
For example, imagine stressing about passing an important test. We have control over the amount we study and the knowledge we can gather about the topic. But we don’t really have control over the questions asked in the exam or the grading. In this case, while you are stressing about the test and keeping your mind busy with potential negative outcomes, you may be missing out on the things you actually have some control over.
In his article about “Setting our worries free”, Robert Puff shares his secret mantra about releasing excessive worry: “If it’s out of my control, it deserves freedom from my mind too.”. According to his mantra, what we can’t control shouldn’t have control over us either.
So the very first step to release the worry and stressful thoughts is asking yourself “Do I have control over this?”. Do your very best about the parts that you can control and just simply identify the parts that you will not be able to control whether you overthink it or not.
Remember, we cannot change people
Oftentimes, when it comes to relationships, what we can and cannot control gets a bit confusing. In short summary, we cannot change anyone but we can change our attitude or relationship with those people.
Imagine that you are in a relationship in which your partner has narcissistic traits. In that case, you cannot change your partner or their characteristics. But what you can change is your relationship with this person or how you get affected by their traits.
When we get upset with people we tend to overthink and try to control the situation. Overthinking doesn’t really take us anywhere except for stress and increased anxiety. In these cases, ask yourself again; Do I have control over this? Remember, we don’t have control over other people and we simply cannot change them.
Pay attention to patterns
When you become more aware and pay attention to your triggers, you will realize that certain things or situations automatically lead to overthinking. These may be personal triggers such as certain people, events, or even words. Or there may be more general triggers such as news, social media, or work. Either way, you can control your exposure to these triggers.
For example, if you realize that seeing a family member is a trigger for you, you can choose to work around your feelings or hang out with them less. Or if it’s social media triggering you, you can choose to limit your social media usage or clean up the toxic information out of your feed.
After all, triggers are triggers and we can expose ourselves less or change our perception in advance.
Be in the moment!
It feels like “be in the moment” is the mantra of the 21st century. In every meditation room, yoga class or breathwork session we always hear “just be in the moment”. Another easier said than done!
Being in the moment is actually not as hard as you may think. When you feel like you are consumed by your thoughts, use your senses to get in touch with your environment and yourself again. Start wiggling your toes and your fingers. Smell the air and try to figure out what it smells like. Maybe feel the temperature on your face. Hear the subtle sounds you weren’t aware of just a moment ago!
Using your senses and shifting your focus will remind you that your thoughts are not the reality and life is not as serious as your mind makes it out to be!